seek not to make them like you

I'm always grateful when Post Oak parents send me articles to read about parenting and education.  I enjoy our shared dialog, and it reminds me of their keen interest in topics that shape my profession.


In the past few days Richard Yoo sent me "Why children need chores" from the Wall Street Journal, and Vasanthi Jayaraman sent me "How to survive the college admission madness" from the NY Times.


Both articles challenge our current parenting practices and beliefs.  Both fly in the face of our fears.


I love seeing the various books, essays and articles I read grate against each other, sparking flame like iron and flint.  I first thought to analyze the themes of these two articles.  My second thought was, "Where do these two articles send me?" 


The answer?  To Kahlil Gibran's 1923 classic, The Prophet and the verse-essay "On children."  Here's what I read:


"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.


You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday."

"my child is more special than other children"

Overindulgent parents may breed narcissistic children.  Kids who were told they were better than others came to believe it.  More fall-out from the self-esteem movement. Check out the research reported in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Not my best parenting moment

Here's a blog posting by Scott Dannemiller, "The one question every parent should stop asking."


He goes on to say, "As parents, we focus 100 percent of our energy asking the wrong question...Bottom line: we parents need to chill out and change our questions. Here are two (questions) that can help us all gain some perspective and start finding more genuine joy in our lives."

Want to know the two questions Dannemiller suggests we ask?  Follow the link.  It's a good read.

Parents, calm down

A recent post on the blog Rox and Roll: the Cacaphony of Motherhood has stirred up a bit of controversy:  "Parents: Let Harvard Go." 


Rox's post was precipitated by several teen suicides close to home and a You Tube video posted by one of her neighbors, sixteen year old Martha Cabot, who attends Gunn High School in Palo Alto, California.


Is Rox encouraging the acceptance of mediocrity?  No, as a former admission officer at an Ivy League school, and another "Ivy equivalent" on the West Coast, she has an insider's view of the college admission process and she considers life in the college admission pressure cooker a public health issue.


Read on, parents.

7 things you don't know...

...about a special needs parent.

Welcome to the age of overparenting

"Mom, we're bored."
"I know that if I continue on this path, not only will my kids never have the wherewithal to build an igloo after a snowstorm, they won’t even have the freedom or imagination to try. Watching them play halfheartedly in their meager little forts, I knew I had to change."

Be the best possible version of yourself

A note from Post Oak parent Rakesh Agrawal.





John:

A blog reading...
from the guy who created gmail at google and then started another company which he sold to Facebook. A good response, I think, to Amy Chua's Tiger Mother book that's been getting a lot of attention (I read it a few weeks back and have enjoyed using it as a springboard for discussing parenting with Shonali and friends).

Rakesh